Extreme Circumstances
by sign144
Summary: When Edward stubbornly refused to reconsider leaving Bella after her birthday party thing spiral away and he finds himself living a life he never expected to see.  Now everything is falling apart and danger is still surrounding Bella.  More inside...
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Welcome Back, FanFiction. I know that it has been forever since I posted anything and all I can say is that I needed the break. I wish I could tell you that I have been writing like a demon but the truth is that I took the time to explore some of my other interest. I worked on my photography and learn some web design but I always felt like I should still be writing. So for now I'm back and I hope you like my new story. I know where I want this to go but it is still a work in progress. I haven't posted a story that wasn't complete or near complete in a long time so if my posting isn't all it was before please don't hate me. I am going to work really fast to get this out weekly I normally do. So without further ado here you are: **

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Name:

_Extreme Circumstances_

**Category: **Drama /Romance

**Rating: **M-Mature (simply to be on the save side because of language)

**Summary: **When Edward stubbornly refused to reconsider leaving Bella after her birthday party thing spiral away and he finds himself living a life he never expected to see. Now the Cullen's are falling apart and Bella is still in danger but he has no way of helping unless he can find his way back to her. But if he does will he still have the strength to leave.

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_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**PRELUDE**_

I was racing. I had to get there even if there was nothing I could do this time. They were going to let it happen. Alice had seen it and there was nothing I could do to stop it and I would have to spend eternity watching my Bella exists in my place.

She would be beautiful and amazing and I wouldn't be able to be with her. I wouldn't be able to touch her or tell her how wonderful she was; how much I loved her. This would be beyond torture; beyond hell and there was nothing. There was no way I could stop them; no way that I could change it; no way that I could get back.

I wanted to hate them; wanted to rip them all apart for this but I knew that even if I could touch them I wouldn't. They were my family and I couldn't fault them for wanting to be happy; for wanting to be complete. This was their way out of the hell they had been living in and under different circumstances I might understand. But these were extreme circumstances and this was the love of my life they were killing and for that I had no understanding.

I saw the fire as I rounded the corner. It was done and I hadn't even been there. I hadn't been able to watch as she took her last breath or tell her how I loved her one more time before it was too late. I had lost her and I could lay the blame right at the feet of the short pixie that I had loved for more than half a century. She had done this, not just to Bella but to me and everyone else. I would hate her forever for this even as I knew eventually I might find a way to forgive her. Still she had stolen the love of my life, however long it might be. How do find forgiveness in that?

"Edward?" Her angelic voice touched my ears as my name dropped from her hauntingly beautiful lips. I thought she had moved on. I thought she had forgotten me and that I would never hear my name across those lips again.

I spun around and there she stood. She was just as beautiful as always and I ached with the need to hold her. It had been so long since I had felt her in my arms. Since I had kissed those amazing lips and as my feet moved me toward her I felt life course through me again.

If this was to be my hell then I would welcome it with open arms as long as I got to keep my angel beside me.

**AN: There is the beginning. I know that it is short and really doesn't quite give you all the information that you might want but just wait. I will be submitting a preview for Chapter 1 to the Fictionators blog next Monday and I will also have it on my blog as well. You can find the link to both on my profile. So until next week and don't forget to review. Let me know if you want more.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I hope that you enjoyed last week's prelude…..Now the story begins. Enjoy.**

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Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun.

_**Chapter One: WTF**_

Waking up can be disorientating for most people. That feeling of where am I or what did I do floats through their heads regularly. Like when they slept really well or a really long time and especially if they have been drinking. Over the years I had heard my fair share of "what the hell" moments in the middle of the morning as people looking around completely unsure of what was going on. But to understand my confusion you have to take that disorientation and multiply it by a million and then you will get why the first words out my mouth when I woke up standing in the middle of the Forks High School parking lot where:

_What the fuck?_

I had never really used that word before except for in extreme circumstances, like when Tyler's van almost crushed Bella or when I almost killed her that first day, but I would say that a vampire waking up when he hasn't slept in over ninety years would be considered extreme.

I couldn't understand how I had gotten here and I didn't remember the last thing that happened before. I looked around seeing Rosalie's BMW but not my car. Had I run here? Had I rode with Rosalie? And why was my family here in the first place? They were supposed to be leaving.

I ran into the building searching for their thoughts but there was nothing in any of the rooms that they were supposed to be in except teacher comments on their lives and the horrible education of the current academic classes. None of this was making any sense.

I followed the hallway until I reached the lunch room and there sitting in our normal spots were the four people who had promised me last night that they would leave Forks and never return. They sat there like it was no big deal. Like Jasper hadn't tried to drain the love of my existence last night and caused me to have to make the worst decision of my interminably long life.

It was strange that I couldn't remember what had happened right before I was standing in the parking lot; I refused to continue to think of it as waking up because that was too confusing, but I could remember the entire night before. I could remember Bella looking amazing in the dress that Alice had picked out for her and the radiant smile that she had forced onto her lips so that my family wouldn't realize how much she hated parties. I could remember the joy that was going through everyone as we celebrated her birthday. Even Rosalie wasn't being as hostile as normal. I could see Bella sliding her small finger under the flap of the wrapping paper and the moment where my life was destroyed.

One drop. Who would have thought that one tiny almost invisible drop would have the power to change everything. To take a wonderfully blissful evening and shatter it along with every hope and dream that I had ever had. I loved my family and I adored Bella but I hated them all in that moment for showing me that I could never have a life with Bella. That there would always be a danger to her as long as I stayed, that she would be better off if I had never entered her life; that they all would.

With that thought I stormed up to the table preparing to take my anger out on each and every one of them; especially Jasper. He should have been able to control himself better. I should have been able to control myself better. The lines were blurred and since I couldn't hurt myself more than thinking about leaving Bella it seemed only fair that I should hurt him just as much.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" I hissed. Just because I wanted to destroy each one of them didn't mean that I wanted to call unnecessary attention to us. "You're supposed to be on your way to Denali and instead you're here? You promised."

I waited for them to respond. To explain why they were here but they each said nothing. Emmett continued to stare broodingly at his food. While Rose sat further away from him then I had ever seen before. They weren't touching or laughing and since when did Emmett brood. Something wasn't right and I tuned into their thoughts for the first time since seeing them.

_God I miss her_, Emmett wasn't looking anywhere but at the bag of chips in front of him but I could hear the longing in his voice. Could he be talking about Bella? I knew they were close and he considered her his little sister but this sounded different_. Why can't I be enough? Why does she have to resent me the way that she does? Why can't it be like it was in the beginning?_ His mind floated over images of Rosalie smiling at him and laughing but they weren't recent. These were times that we had shared almost sixty years ago, before Alice and Jasper found us. What was going on?

I turned to Rosalie and her mind was just as strange as Emmett's. _Maybe I never should have saved him._ I had never once heard her voice such a thought and I stumbled back from the pure conviction that laced every word. What had happened in the space of a one night to change their relationship so much? _I knew better than to damn someone to this half existence but I had to be selfish. I had to beg Carlisle for the one thing that I thought would make this life better and now look. There's so much resentment between us he can't even look at me. As if I needed another reason to hate my life. Maybe there is another way to be destroyed that Carlisle never tried._

This was all wrong. As much as I hated having to see Emmett and Rosalie going at it all the time in their minds and on the living room sofa they had a physical relationship that I had hoped to have one day. The passion that they always felt for each other was beyond anything I had ever seen in any mind vampire or human and to hear Emmett so lonely and Rose contemplate suicide it was insane. Not that Rose was my favorite person all the time but she is my sister and the family wouldn't be the same without her.

I looked over at Alice wondering why she hadn't seen this. She was wrapped around Jasper and it was nice to see that whatever was going on with Rose and Emmett hadn't affected them. Maybe she hadn't seen Rosalie's thoughts because she was so worried about Jasper. Slipping back into my normal role as the family informer I listened in make sure Jasper wasn't planning a school wide massacre so that I could reassure Alice but the thoughts that I heard were more disturbing than anything ever to come from him before.

_Why can't she just let me go? Can't she see this isn't working? I'm not cut out for this lifestyle. If it wasn't for my love for her I would have ran long time ago. I would still run if I could get a moment away from her. Maybe I would go back to Maria. True I hated her and all that she stood for but at least when I was fighting with her I didn't feel so lost. I didn't feel like I was someone I'm not. I didn't feel trapped._

He was going to leave. None of this was making any sense. Jasper would never leave Alice and how could she not notice what was going on around her? Could she really be that wrapped up in Jasper that everything was falling through the cracks? Is that why she didn't see what would happen at Bella's birthday party last night.

Suddenly I was raging with anger that she would risk her best friend's life just because she couldn't tear her mind away from Jasper. I understood someone being the center of your world but then she should have seen what would happen. She should have had everyone put their gifts in bags or not wrapped them at all. I listened hoping that all I had thought couldn't be true; that she cared more than that for both me and Bella.

_If I just hold on a little more than maybe he won't leave me_. She knew. This she had seen but nothing about Bella. _Or maybe it would be better if I just let him leave; if we both left. Em and Rose seemed to have been better before we showed up. Even Carlisle and Esme were closer than they are now. Me and my stupid visions. If I had never seen the Cullen's then maybe Jazz and I would still be happy. Maybe we all would still be happy. I hate them. All they ever do is cause more problems than they solve. If I could will the visions away I would._

My anger with her evaporated. What had happened to my happy, always hyper Alice? Her mind was more disturbing than all the other's combined. Alice had always been the one that I shared the most with; the two Cullen freaks. To hear her so lost and depressed was like a shot to my heart. She was supposed to be bubbly and planning shopping trips and long talks with Jasper and ways to make everyone in the family smile. Between her and Emmett they kept us all from getting too bogged down with the weight of eternal life.

_If we did leave where would we go? Would he want to go back to Maria? Could I live like that?_ I saw a vision of her and Jasper hugging with similar smirks on their faces and eyes as bright red as Rose's car. Around them lay bodies of vampires and humans and the saddest part was that they looked more together than they did right now.

This was crazy. "What is going on with all of you?" I almost screamed but it was so fast that I was sure none of the humans could hear. "I know that none of you want to leave but this is for the best. Bella will be safe and once we are gone and settled than everything will get back to normal." I knew I was lying, that I would never be normal again, but right now this wasn't about me. My family was falling apart before my eyes and I needed them to snap out of it.

None of them said a word or acknowledged that I had said anything. They continued to sit as they had been. This wouldn't work. For the millionth time I second guessed my decision to walk away from Bella. I knew that she would be hurt at first and I would be devastated for eternity but I had no idea that my family would take it so hard.

"Look, maybe you guys could stay and I could just leave." I tried. It would be torture alone leaving Bella but then to not have my family with me would make it worse but I had to do something. "You would have to agree to never see her again so that she could move on with her life without us but if it will help that's all that matters." I waited for the smiles to appear but nothing. I waved my hand in front of Rosalie's face since she was the closest to me but nothing. She didn't swat at me or yell that I was invading her space she just sat there stone faced.

"Who are they?" I heard my heart whisper lightly. _Their beautiful._

I jerked because I actually heard her inter-thoughts. I had never heard my Bella before but the sound was just as beautiful as when she spoke aloud. How was this possible and why now? We, or rather I, was leaving soon and to finally hear her when I had to let her go was agony. If I could have cried in that moment I would have.

_Leave it to the new girl to notice the freaks_. Jessica Stanley's had never been a mind I liked and I found that nothing had changed in that. "Those are the Cullen's and the Hales." She explained. "They are Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's kids." _I bet he does experiments on them or something to make them look so good._

I rolled my eyes. She and Mike had been thinking that way since we first showed up. After awhile some things just got really old.

_Wow, they don't look that much alike except for the skin tone. About time I found someone paler than me._ She was laughing at her own joke and I had to smile. Bella had such a sharp wit to her that very few people got. There was something in her words that struck me as odd but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"They don't look that much alike." Bella voiced out loud and that was when it hit me. Why would she be surprised that we don't look alike? She knew all of our secrets. There should be nothing that shocked her anymore about us.

"They are all adopted or foster kids or something." Mike answered but he didn't seem the least bit interested in any of us.

"Yeah, Doctor Cullen adopted Alice and Emmett. She's the small one with the spiky hair and he's the big one with all the muscles." Jessica was still explaining something to Bella that she already knew. "And I think the other two, Jasper and Rosalie, are twins and they were like Mrs. Cullen's sisters kids and when she died then she took them in as foster's."

_Well that was nice of them._ Bella mused. She was still glancing over and I smiled at her like the idiot that she always reduced me to waiting for her to mention me or at least look at me. She had looked at everyone but me.

"That was really nice of them to open their home like that." She smiled over at our table but her eyes stayed on my siblings.

"I guess" Jessica shrugged_. Wait until I tell her this part. She won't think it's so sweet anymore_. "But their all together." She leaned in. "Like together, together. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice." She made some hand gesture and I growled lowly. When were people going to let it go? I knew it was different but it wasn't like it was incest or something.

_Okay_, I saw Bella's eyes widen. _That's a little different but hey if it floats their boats_. I saw her small shoulders raise and she turned back to her table. _Besides it's not like its incestuous or something. They aren't real brothers and sisters. I guess the twins are but they aren't dating each other so whatever._

_She looks like she doesn't get it or maybe it's just not fazing her because she's from Arizona. Maybe they have this type of thing everywhere out there._ Jessica was really disappointed that Bella didn't respond they way that she thought she should. "Yeah, Doctor Cullen is like this foster dad slash matchmaker."

"Maybe he can adopt me." Angela Weber spoke up and there was something strangely familiar about their conversation, almost like I was having a déjà vu moment.

"Oh my God Angela" Jessica practically shrieked. "Why would you ever want to be in that freak of a family?" She looked over at us. _Although if Alice would finally loosen up her hold on Jasper I wouldn't mind taking that for a test drive. Just look at that hair. Maybe she knows that if she lets him go he'd leave her in a New York minute. Poor thing can't even eat._

My eyes widened a little because that was the first time anyone had ever noticed that none of us were eating. Obviously with everyone so distraught the façade was slipping. I started to tell them to eat something even if we would have to throw it up later but Bella's voice stopped me.

_Boy this place is like a soap opera_, she was thinking as she let her hair fall forward to cover her face. _With_ _Jessica yelling at poor Angela and those kids over there living together while also dating. Where did I move? Forks or Port Charles? Renee would love this. The way she watches General Hospital it would be right up her ally._

I could hear the sadness in her thoughts as they turned to Renee_. I hope that she's doing alright. Did I remember to pack her vitamins? _She wondered before remember that she put them in the side pocket of her mother's luggage. _Now all she has to do is remember to take them. I should email her when I get home to make sure she doesn't forget. Maybe I should call but knowing Renee she probably let her phone die again and I just know she isn't going to remember that she put her charger in Phil's bag. Guess I should add that to the email also._

She always took such good care of her parents. It was such a reversal of roles, her always worried about Renee and cooking every night for Charlie. She really needed someone to take care of her. I had wanted to be that man. To make sure that she wanted for nothing and had everything that she ever could think that she wanted but one drop had made sure that I knew I could never be him. Damn that drop. Damn all of it.

That's when it hit me. I breathed in deeply waiting for the overwhelming scent of Bella to cause the venom to pool in my throat but nothing. I felt nothing. I breathed again and again nothing. I could still smell her but the bloodlust was gone. It was like being around every other human. No need to attack her or devour her. All I could feel was my love for her and the need to hold her as strongly as it had always been.

I almost tripped with my rush to get to her side but just as I was close she rose up and walked right past me headed toward the back door talking to Newton like I didn't exist.

_What the fuck was that, c_learly another extreme circumstance. I followed behind them listening to their conversation both outwardly and internally.

"Sorry about Jessica" Mike was explaining. "She can be a bit much." _Especially when she has you pinned in a broom closet_. He was having flashbacks of Jessica pushing him up against a door and I quickly exited his mind.

"That's alright." Bella smiled shyly. "I'm just glad to have made a few friends on my first day." _Not that I would really call them friends but they had potential._

My feet froze in place. Her first day? What the fuck did that mean? I might as well just accept that everything right now was going to be extreme, I thought as I shook my head to clear it. That was when I looked at her; really looked at her and saw that she was wearing the same outfit that she had been wearing on her first day at Forks High. Could that be why my family was still here? If so then that just made their thoughts more confusing.

I rushed to catch up with them as they entered the biology class room and I looked over to our normal table only it wasn't empty. Riley Biers was sitting in my seat. I hate to be redundant but what the fuck is going on? I watched as Bella gave her slip to Mr. Banner and then walked over to sit next to Riley. The wind from the fan blew her hair just as before but I wasn't over come with bloodlust and Riley just smiled as she sat down.

_Man she's cute_, he was thinking and I growled lowly at him. I looked around for an empty seat but there weren't any so I went to stand in the back. Whatever was going on I needed to get this solved quickly.

"Hi, I'm Riley" He extended his hand out to Bella and she again smiled shyly as she took it. "You must be Isabella."

"Bella" She corrected. _What is it with these small town hicks? Have they never heard of a nickname before? I swear Charlie must be going around calling me Isabella to everyone that he sees._

I laughed to myself. I loved hearing her correct people when they called her by her full first name. Only Charlie and occasionally I had the privilege of using that name.

I watched as they chatted away during biology while they did the assignment I remember having a hard time concentration on because I was trying not to slaughter a whole room of children. Bella actually laughed at some joke that he told and she smiled more than I would have liked but nothing extreme happened other than the fact that someone else was living my life right now or some crazy shit like that.

Boy I must really be out of my element. These words were flying out of my mouth like it was no big deal.

I listened as the bell rang and Mike showed up at our desk to walk her to gym. Riley told her he would see her tomorrow and then left normally. There wasn't any need for him to race past her because he couldn't hold his breath any longer. There was no fear in her eyes as she watched him leave and followed Mike out the door.

I was tempted to follow them but I went to Spanish and sat down next to Emmett as per usual even though there was nothing usual about what was going on. At least my seat was still here in this class. I half expected to see Riley sitting here too.

"Em you will never believe what happened." I leaned over to whisper to him. "Somehow we are all reliving Bella's first day here and Riley Biers is now her lab partner." I chuckled. "Matter of fact there wasn't even a seat for me in biology. But the best part is that my bloodlust is gone. Not just controlled but gone." I thought back to how I hadn't felt venom once during that hour in biology. Not just for Bella but for any of the humans. "Do you know what this means? I might not have to leave her. I might be able to stay and be with her for as long as she will have me."

I expected Emmett to smile and make some joke about my finally getting laid but he just sat there drawing pictures of Rosalie's face in his notebook. _Why can't she see that I love her, that I don't resent her for turning me; that she is my world and I'm lost without her? Why can't I be enough for her?_

He was still thinking about Rosalie and my joy at realizing that I wasn't lusting after the whole school took a backseat. "Hey, we'll figure something out." I tried to cheer him up. "Don't worry." I smiled at him. "This is you and Rose we're talking about. She can't stay mad at you for long. Just give her a little time." I would talk to Rose when we got home and find out what was going on and help however I could. If anyone understood hating themselves because of what we are then that would be me.

_Maybe if I found her a baby_, Emmett was coming up with a plan that I didn't like. _Maybe I could go to an orphanage or a hospital and wait to see which babies get left then she would have everything she's always wanted. I would just have to keep Jasper away so that it would be safe. Although I might have to take two so that Esme wouldn't try to hone in on Rosie's kid._

"Emmett you will do no such thing." I couldn't believe that he was really being serious about this. I could see the plan coming up in his mind. He figured the orphanage would be better because no one stayed up all night watching over the kids there. "Emmett I will talk to Rose just don't do anything rash okay?" Still he said nothing.

This might be bigger than something I could fix. Rosalie considering ending her existence, Emmett wanting to kidnap babies, Jasper thinking about leaving and Alice having visions of her and Jasper with red eyes; I think it was clear that I needed help. I didn't think Bella could help me right now considering if this really was her first day then she didn't know about us yet and there was no need to scare her but Carlisle could help. Yes, I would drive out to the hospital right after I we got home and I got my Volvo.

And the added bonus would be that I could try out my new non-bloodlust and see if the hospital doesn't affect me. How great would that be? If I could walk in to that building like people weren't bleeding all over the place. Maybe if I really have lost my bloodlust than I can help Carlisle out at the next hospital we go to. Finally put those medical degrees to work.

The bell rang and I shot out of my chair. "I'll meet you at the car and don't worry about Rose, we'll fix it." I called over my shoulder to Emmett. As much as I wanted to be there for my family I wanted to say hi to Bella, to re-introduce myself. Sure it might be dangerous to invite her into my life again but this time the danger wouldn't be me and I could protect her from all the other things.

I rounded the corner just in time to see her heading into the main office. She was turning in her slip that every teacher signed and I waited outside the door for her to come out. I couldn't wait to see those chocolate depths looking up at me but when she came out she was walking with Riley. They were talking and again she walked right past me. This was getting ridiculous.

I signed. Maybe this was for the better. Now she could lead a normal life without the supernatural interference that I had brought. She could be really safe but still shouldn't she at least acknowledge my presence. A smile or a nod or something. If the connection that we had was really as strong as I thought shouldn't it still be here whether I'm her lab partner or not.

I knew I shouldn't be upset but everything was completely messed up. My family was hanging on by a thread and Bella wouldn't look at me. How did all this happen?

_Carlisle_

I knew that if anyone could figure this out then it would be him. I ran outside to meet the family but Rosalie's car was already gone. They left without me? That wasn't normal either. I would yell at them later right now I needed to get to Carlisle so that he could help me fix whatever the fuck was going on.

I ran faster than my normal speed rushing to get to him. I skidded to a halt right in front of the doors to the emergency room because there leaning against the outside wall was Carlisle smoking a cigarette and looking like an older James Dean. He didn't have his scrubs on but a button down shirt tucked into a low fitting pair of dark wash jeans and a leather jacket that matched his boots to perfection.

"'Bout time you got here." He pushed himself off the wall and grounded his cigarette to a pulp.

"Carlisle?" I couldn't stop the shock that filled my voice.

He smirked and laughed lightly as my confused face. "Not quite but I guess that isn't your first surprise today."

He wasn't making any sense and after my day the only question I could ask was the same question that I had been asking since I opened my eyes in the parking lot. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Haven't you figured it out yet Eddie?" He was shaking his head at me. "You're dead."

**AN: What is going on? How did that happen? So many questions. Guess I will just have to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.**

**Don't forget to check out the Fictionators blog (link on my website) on Monday for a sneak peak at next week's chapters and please don't forget to review. It makes me smile :).**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry I missed last week. I had every intention of getting this out before the end of the week but between editing and life time got away from me. So without further ado here you go…**

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Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun.

_**Chapter Two: Wish**_

"What the fuck?" That really was becoming my own personal question. "I know I'm dead. I've been dead for like damn near a hundred years. I want to know is what going on now; like today."

"I get it smart ass." He rolled his eyes at me. "Man if I had known you were going to be so difficult I would have brought a drink."

I really looked at the man standing in front of me and was positive that this wasn't the Carlisle that I had known for the majority of my life. Carlisle would sooner hurt a human than smoke or drink and there was no way on this earth or any other that Alice would let him walk out the house in that outfit. This revelation did nothing more than confuse me even more.

"Look kid" he started again "when I say that you are dead I'm not talking about the walking around vampire thing that you have been doing since 1918 but actually dead."

"Then why am I still here?" I asked. "Why can I still see my family and hear their thoughts and why can I now hear Bella's?" If he was giving out legitimate information than I was going to ask every question I had whether he was the real Carlisle or not.

"Come take a walk with me." He gestured toward the woods surrounding the hospital. "This place is really starting to give me the creeps." He was shuttering. "I don't know how he does it."

"Who?"

"Me" He pointed behind him. "Or at least the goodie two shoes me that you all know and love. I swear I wish he would cut loose every once in awhile and let me have some fun. All this save the world shit gets on my nerves."

I couldn't say anything. Carlisle would never say such a thing but I think that he had established that he wasn't quite Carlisle. Then why did he look just like him?

"Who are you?" I asked following him into the trees.

"I'm Carlisle" He smiled at me. "Or at least who Carlisle would be if he didn't have that enormous stick up his ass."

"That doesn't make any sense." I was shaking my head and running my hands through my hair.

"Think about it this way" He stopped for a second. "Everyone has a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Well you've always known Dr. Jekyll but I'm Mr. Hyde." He smirked. "The side that would have come out if he had of embraced the true vampire side of his personality."

"So you're Carlisle on human blood?"

"I wish" He rolled his eyes and started walking again. "But being that this is your alternate reality I'm just here as a guess star. I can't be too far from him or I don't know, my head will explode or something equally fucked up."

"What?"

"Yeah" He nodded at me. "We will like both cease to exist and go straight to hell."

"Oh my God" I looked behind me wondering if we were too far away now. I wasn't that fond of this Carlisle but the other one was my mentor, my father in more ways than one and a cherished friend. I couldn't let anything happen to him. He was needed by so many. "Maybe we should go back some."

I looked over to see Carlisle doubled over in laughter. "God you are so gullible." He barely got out. "You should have seen the look on your face."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Nothing will happen if you leave" It wasn't a question and I was getting angrier by the minute.

"No shit" He stood straighter. "Boy the fun I could have with you. Too bad we don't have the time."

"Are you being serious this time or just pulling my leg?" I had had enough of his bad jokes.

"Yeah this time I'm being serious" and his whole demeanor changed. "Look kid, I'm only here in intervals and only when you need information. I don't know why and I really am not sure how but I guess you could say that I am kinda like your guide."

"My guide to what?"

"To seeing and hearing what you need to see and hear."

"But why and how?"

"Think about last night" He looked me straight in the eye. "Think really hard."

My breath hitched and I could have sworn that I was having one of Alice's visions. My dead heart felt like it was pounding and my eyes blurred around me so that I was seeing nothing. Then from far off in the distance it came rushing before me as clear as any memory.

"_You can't do this" Alice was screaming at me. We were standing in the middle of my room glaring at each other. "You are going to destroy her."_

"_It's what's best for her." I towered over her. "She will move on."_

"_And what about me?" She asked. "She's my best friend and you are making me leave her without a word; without a goodbye or anything. She's going to think I abandoned her."_

"_She will get over it and eventually we will all be just a memory."_

"_God you are so stupid." She laughed in my face. "She is never going to get over it and nether or you. I've seen what happens Edward. She's not going to be able to make it and it's going to kill you."_

"_Then life will be as it should." I bowed my head. _

"_What the hell does that mean?" Alice pushed against my chest and I stumbled back some._

"_I should have died ninety years ago." I told her. "If I had then I never would have put Bella in danger."_

"_You selfish son of a bitch." She was yelling again. "You really think that would make things better?"_

"_I know it would."_

"_Well then I wish you could see just what would have happened if you had died. All of it." Alice sneered. "Maybe that should be your punishment for taking Bella's love for granted. Having to spend the rest of eternity watching what would have happened if you had died. To be able to hear it all, even Bella, and not be able to do anything about it. That would suck but it would be nothing less than you deserve for considering abandoning Bella. That would be the hell you think you deserve."_

I was on the ground feeling as disoriented and confused as I had when I first started this day. I was coughing up air as my lungs found their way back into this reality.

"Is that what this is?" I looked up at Carlisle who was now leaning against a tree. "Am I in hell?"

"Not really" He huffed. "But I tell you what. That little short shit has some real mojo or something because that wish is what got us here."

He moved away from the tree and squatted down before me. "You're seeing what life would have been like for everyone had you really died in 1918. No change from Carlisle, no rebellious period, no family, no love, no nothing. The world moved on exactly like you thought it should only now you get to see what would have become of those you hold dear."

It all made sense and yet it still didn't. The reason that my family couldn't hear me, Bella walking right pass me and Riley being in my seat in biology. Even the bloodlust being gone; you can't want what you can't touch. But how could Alice have done this? She didn't have that kind of power or at least as far as we all knew she didn't. Could her words really have damned me to this? For eternity?

Would I really be able to watch as Bella moved on from me when she never knew me? To see her fall in love with someone else, a normal human someone else, the someone else that I wanted her to find. To see her life played out before my eyes and not be able to touch her when he could. To resist ripping his head off at any thought he might have about my Bella. To watch her wither away and die before my eyes and not be able to help; then to spend the rest of my time after remembering what I once had. I didn't think I could do that.

"So I'm stuck here for all eternity?" I looked toward my only life line.

"I don't know that part." He shrugged. "I don't know if you can get back or even how. That's not part of my job. I'm just here to give you the information you need and point you to the right place."

"Which is?"

"You're a smart guy; think about it"

There was no thought required, "Bella".

"Yeah I figured your pussy whipped ass would go there first." He shook his head. "This is an alternate reality Ed. She's not the only one you might need to see."

"The family?"

His eyes widened. "Lookie here, the boy can figure some shit out." He mocked. "Hell yeah the family. In case you missed it they are all fucked up. Each and everyone one of them and you haven't even seen Carlisle not to mention Esme."

My heart lurched for my undead mother. "What about Esme?"

"No one ever really accepted her the way you did." He explained. "All that mothering instinct gone to waste, she left. Tried to make herself a new family but it didn't work out."

"WHAT?" I stood suddenly.

"Don't worry. She came back." He calmly rose to face me. "She's been back for years now but it's all for show and protection."

"Protection?"

"Let's just say that her offspring weren't that sad to see her go." He shrugged again. "They tried to rip her apart."

I couldn't wrap my head around anyone wanting to hurt Esme. She was the kindest person I had ever met next to Carlisle. This didn't make any sense.

"My place in the family couldn't have made that big a difference." I refused to believe they were this way because of me. They had their mates and each other. They should have been just fine.

He was shaking his head at me again. "You really are thick. Don't you get it? It's not about you as much as it is about the family unit. You all were meant to be together. Take away a piece of that and the others don't fit."

"So what do I do to help them?" I couldn't let my family follow through on the thoughts that I had heard today.

"Nothing."

"What the hell do you mean nothing?" I roared.

"There's nothing you can do." He said calmly not fazed as all by my outburst. "That wasn't part of the wish Edward."

I shook my head at him determined to find a way to help. I couldn't just stand by and watch my family fall apart. "There has to be…."

"No there doesn't" He cut me off. "Your only job is to just observe. There's nothing more you can do."

"But maybe if I…"

"What part are you missing?" There was anger coming from him now. "They can't hear you, you can't affect anyone you touch, and you can't do anything."

"Alice"

"What about her?" He questioned. "She doesn't know you exist. She's not going to wish you into existence because she doesn't know that there is someone to wish for. This is it."

"For the rest of eternity?" I couldn't accept that.

"I don't know" He yelled. "All I know is that for now you can't change anything. All you can do is pull up a chair, some popcorn covered in lion's blood and watch the show. That's it."

He started to walk away. "Where are you going?"

"I've done what I was supposed to do. I'm done." He turned to look at me but kept walking backwards. "Time for me to go back to my cage." He laughed pulling out his cigarettes. "Guess it couldn't hurt to have one for the road. It's not like they will kill me or anything." He lit it and turned back around. "I'll be seeing ya Eddie."

And just like that he was gone. I couldn't tell if the forest swallowed him up or he just disappeared. It didn't matter because either way I was now standing in the middle of the forest alone. I leaned against the tree next to me and begin to formulate a plan.

There was no way that I was accepting that I was stuck in this reality. There had to be a way to get back to Bella and my family. I was not spending eternity watching as they all fell apart and Bella moved on. I know that was what I wanted for her but I didn't want to have to see it or even worse hear it. As many times as I wished that I could hear her that would be the ultimate torture. To be able to hear all her intimate thought about someone else. To hear her thinking about how much she loved him and not be able to walk away would be worse than if she ripped off my arm and beat me with it. So I needed to find a way back.

But then what? We would still be leaving and Bella would still be in danger until we did. My family would still be mad at me for forcing them out of Bella's life and I would still be hurting her no matter how temporally. Was there no right way to handle any of this?

No matter what I knew that I needed to get out of this reality. My family was falling apart and who knew what kinds of trouble Bella could get into right now. If we really were back to her first day then there was Tyler's van to deal with and Port Angeles. James would be alive and could possibly still be in the area. Although the likelihood of him finding Bella without her being involved with me was considerably lower but this was Bella after all. Yes I had to get back home but how.

It was plan to see that this Carlisle wasn't going to be of much help. Even if I could get him to come out of my normal Carlisle he didn't have any more answers for me right now. There was even every possibility that I would never see him again although he had mentioned seeing me when he left. But whether he showed back up or not he was clearly not interested in helping get out of this hell and that would be exactly what I would be in if I had to watch everything crumble around me.

I swear I could strangle Alice for this. Talk about coming up with the perfect way to get back at me. Maybe I should have just let her say goodbye to Bella. Maybe if I had she would have walked away and I wouldn't be watching the destruction of all I love. One thing was for sure. I wasn't going to change anything sitting here on my ass thinking. I had to come up with something that could get me back.

Who would have thought that not twenty four hours into not existing I would be searching for a way to exist again? I laughed to myself. If nothing else I had to give it to the pixie for teaching me that I didn't want to be dead or not the real dead. Message received Alice.

_Alice_

She had to be the key. She wished me into this universe she would just have to wish me back out. Maybe she had an alter personality like Carlisle that I could get to come out with enough work. If so then I could get her to acknowledge me, change the wish and get back home before any real damage was done. That had to be it.

I took off running for the house. Everyone had to be there and that would be my first place to start. I would find a way to get Alice all alone and I would scream bloody murder until I found a way to get her attention. Maybe if I kept trying to touch her she would have a vision of me and start searching. Or maybe she was my link back to my real Alice. Whichever it was she had to be my way back; she just had to be. Because if I have to spend eternity here then I am finding a way to pull her in with me.

She wished me into this hell she could damn well find a way to fix it and wish me out.

**AN: Okay, so will he get to Alice? Will she wish him back? What will happen? Check out next week to find out.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I have more of an apology at the end of the chapter but I wanted to let you know that I really didn't mean for it to take so long between posts. Without further ado….**

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Three: Lost**_

I slowed when I came to the edge of the drive. It looked the same and yet so different. The flowers that normally lined the way to our house were none existent and there was a cloud of despair hanging so deeply over this place that it rivaled the constant cover of this sleepy town.

This house was no longer a safe haven. It didn't hold the joy of being free to be ourselves but the burden of eternity. I could hear no laughter coming from the beautiful mansion before me. The same sadness that engulfed my siblings during lunch was present tenfold here and there could only be one reason.

My feet felt heavier than lead and I tried to make them move closer to where my dead heart didn't want to go. I didn't want to see what had become of the one person that I revered as a mother. The one person that had loved and worried about me more than anyone other than Carlisle; that I had loved as much as Carlisle for almost as many years. They had been my constant and now I would have to see what loosing me did to her. I wasn't prepared.

I took a hesitating step toward the house. How would I feel going in there and seeing more of my families' troubles? Hearing the loneliness in all their minds and not being able to help. It would be worse than at lunch or even during Spanish with Emmett. At least then I had thought that something was going on but we would talk about it at home. Now I knew that I could talk until the sun cooled and they still wouldn't hear me. I knew that until I found a way back to my reality that I wouldn't be able to help. Who knows what they could do before then and if they did it here would we have to live with the consequences in my time?

My feet were moving again but my heart was sinking the closer I got to the front door. This could be a turning point. If I could get Alice to see me or feel my presence then things could be back to normal by the end of the day but if I couldn't. If I couldn't get Alice to wish me back then things could get worse than ever before and not just for me. Alice could lose Jasper and the family could lose then both. Emmett could steal a baby and that would devastate Carlisle but it might destroy Esme.

I opened the door surprised that things looked almost the same inside. The furniture was in the same spots and the layout was exactly the same, but where Emmett and Jasper would normally be found in a epic battle of some video game yelling at each other on the couch there was no one and silence abound. I walked toward the kitchen and the patio but again no one and Esme's garden that she prided herself on was missing here as well.

Reaching the stairs I could hear them all in different rooms. Jasper was in his study pacing, Rose and Esme were in their respective bedrooms, Emmett was in the music room, and Alice was in the attic. I knew that Alice should be the first person that I went to but as I ran up the stairs I caught a glimpse of my room and I had to stop.

Walking in I don't know what I expected. Maybe something of mine that had made it to this timeframe with me but the room was completely bare. Where my cds and music collection use to be housed was no more than a blank wall; even the shelves were gone. The carpet was a generic white and the walls matched perfectly. It looked like a hospital room or at the very least a museum. There was no life to this room but I guessed that matched the other rooms even though they were all occupied.

I heard the soft crying and followed it to my parent's door. No part of me wanted to go in but I felt that I had to. I had to see for myself the state that Esme was in. It was like a sick game I was playing with myself or something. Like I wouldn't be happy until I heard the depression in her thought also.

I walked in noticing that their room had none of the personal touches that it used to have. The paintings were gone and there were no blueprints or designs lining her writing table. There was nothing of consequence in this room. Nothing that screamed that there was a young and loving couple living here. Again it looked sterile.

Esme was curled up in the middle of the bed rocking with a picture clutched to her chest. I recognized it instantly. It was our first family picture after Alice and Jasper joined us. Esme had been so excited she had run out and bought the best camera on the marked and come back to line us all up so that she could take what she deemed would be the best picture ever. I had felt like the odd man out not being paired with anyone but had stood next to Carlisle who was all I had ever wanted to be and smiled with my new sister Alice leaning against me and Jasper smiling down at her.

Now the picture held just the six of them but the smiles and happiness that was present in the original picture was missing from this replica. They were all standing in the same positions but the looks were forced the breaks in the family showing even then. How had they lasted another forty-eight years? _She left. Tried to make herself a new family but it didn't work out._ Looking down at Esme I knew that they hadn't. They weren't really together. They were all just strangers living in the same house. There was no family here because Esme was who really made us understand what that meant. She was who really kept us together.

I sat next to her hoping that she could feel my love and somehow it could help but I could tell by her thoughts that she felt nothing; absolutely nothing. There was nothing coming from her except loss. No thoughts like the rest of them about how to make it better or how to cope with what was. Esme had nothing and that was all that kept repeating in her head.

_Why don't they love me? Why doesn't anyone love me? Why am I here_? Over and over again the same thought with no interruptions. She didn't even have hope that things might change, that they could come to love and respect here as they had before. She was convinced that she would never have love again.

What about Carlisle? What the hell was he doing here that made this wonderful woman think that she wasn't loved or could never be loved? My Carlisle did everything for Esme. The only person that loved more was Jasper and I had never been able to figure out if that was just how he was or if it was because of his gift. Either way Carlisle rivaled him. Yet here was Esme devoid of the love that she regularly gave so freely.

I leaned down and kissed her cheek knowing that she wouldn't feel it but needing her to know that someone loved her. "Don't worry mom. I love you and I'm going to find a way back to you. I promise." I vowed. She needed to know that she was loved and that someone was thinking of her.

I slowly left and made my way up to the attic. Alice was sitting stone still facing the window not really looking at anything. Vision after vision was playing out in her head_. Jasper leaving, them surrounded by bodies, Rosalie holding a human baby, Emmett leaving, Rosalie in Italy, Esme crying, Carlisle setting fire to the entire house, everyone destroyed, Jasper staying, Jasper killing a room full of students, Emmett on his knees in front of Rosalie, Carlisle carrying Esme to hunt, Alice leaving, Jasper with red eyes, Alice with red eyes, Emmett with red eyes, Rosalie with red eyes, Esme with red eyes and the most shocking of all, Carlisle with red eyes._

I couldn't look anymore. Of all people I couldn't imagine Carlisle drinking from a human. Even when he had changed Esme, Rosalie and Emmett he had only taken what was necessary for the transformation and then hunted as soon as possible so that his eyes would not stay that gruesome color. There was no way that he would willingly embrace his darker side now. Not after over three hundred years.

_Well you've always known Dr. Jekyll but I'm Mr. Hyde._

The Carlisle I met earlier popped into my head. Would he get to make another appearance? Would he take over the Carlisle that I knew and loved? This didn't make sense.

"Alice" I screamed. She had to hear me or sense me or something. She needed to get me back to where they could see me. To where everyone was happy and no one was thinking about committing suicide but me and that wouldn't be until after Bella had left this earth. To where Jasper's world revolved around Alice and he would never think of leaving her. To when Emmett was the life of the party and nothing really fazed him. And Esme, I didn't think my life made that big of a difference but I had to get back to her. I couldn't stand to see her suffer this way.

"Alice" I screamed again. "Alice you have to fix this. You have to sense me and make another wish." I touched her so that maybe she could feel me and get a read from that but nothing. Nothing but the visions flying through her head over and over.

_Make them stop_, she was crying almost as much as Esme,_ please God make them stop. I don't want them anymore. They aren't doing any good and I can't see my family hurting so much over and over again. Just make them stop._

My non beating heart broke for her. My Ali loved her visions. She was put out if for some reason she didn't know what was going to happen. She handled the good with the bad and put on a happy face regardless. I knew that there were times that it was hard on her but she never let it get to her like this. The same as I wanted to comfort Esme and let her know that someone loved her was the same way that I wanted to pick Alice up and let her know that it would be alright.

I couldn't stand this anymore. I ran from the house not knowing where I was headed. I had to find a way back to my family. Even if I felt this life wasn't worth a damn it was obvious that on some level it was. Somehow my family needed me and I couldn't stand by and watch as they fell apart.

I found myself standing in front of Bella's house and realized that I should have known my legs would carry me there. I was in a state of confusion and desolation and I needed my light. If any presence could calm me it would be Bella's. She was everything to me and I just need to be around her so that I could absorb as much love and contentment as possible.

I climbed the back wall to her bedroom window but it was locked. Why would it be locked? She always kept it open. I could see her sitting at her computer desk drumming her fingers with a frustrated look on her face and I felt her annoyance. All I wanted right now was to hold her and I knew that I wouldn't be able to. I jumped down and went around to the front thankful that I knew where they kept the spare key. I quickly let myself in and ran to my Bella's side.

_Could this connection take any longer_, she was signing into her email but the dial up speed wasn't going as fast as I knew she was use to. I had offered many times to upgrade their internet service but she had always turned me down saying that it would be too hard to explain to Charlie.

Finally, she sighed opening her email account. _God Renee, obsess much._ There were five emails from her mother and I smiled. Apparently Bella thought that was a bit extreme. _You didn't worry this much when I lived with you and now you email me this many times in two days. Shouldn't Phil be just as distracting now as he was when he wasn't there?_

She opened each one and then sent a short message back letting her know that she was fine and reminding her where the phone charger was and to take her vitamins daily. She was such an amazing daughter. She turned off the computer and went and laid on her bed. She tossed slightly trying to find the right spot and I had never wanted to hold her more.

_This bed feels wrong somehow. _She looked stressed as she tried to make it feel right._ The mattress feels like wood_. _When was the last time Charlie changed it and why does it feel like something is missing?_ Again I wished that I could hold her. Was it possible that she missed my presence? Did she somehow know that I was supposed to be next to her?

"Bella" I yelled sitting on the side of her bed. If I could get her to feel my presence then she could tell Alice and get her to wish me back. "Bella you have to help me. Please love, feel me."

She tossed and turned a bit more before she settled in staring toward where I was perched. I could feel her leg resting against my back but she laid there as if there was nothing touching her. Her eyes closed and before long she was sleep. I sat there watching her as I always had but before too long I realized that this wasn't helping me get back and I had to get back.

I stood to stand and as soon as my body moved from the bed Bella began to toss again. Was she looking for me? I sat back down and reached for her hand. I let mine rest in her open palm and again she calmed down. My body soared with the knowledge that even if she didn't remember me consciously some part of her did remember.

"Don't worry love, I will find my way back." I leaned down and kissed her check making another vow.

More than ever I had to find a way out of this hell. The women I loved needed me and I couldn't let them down. I had to get back to Esme, Alice and above all Bella. It didn't matter that I was leaving or that my family was leaving or that if we stayed she would be in danger. She needed me and that was all that counted.

I heard Charlie pulling into the drive and I moved my hand from Bella's. I didn't like her tossing and turning but with her father home she would have to get up eventually so that she could make him dinner. As I stood she did toss one last time and then woke up as the door opened and closed downstairs.

I listened as she left and greeted her father. It turned out that she wasn't cooking tonight but they were going to the local diner for dinner. I waited until they left and then I climbed out of her window being sure to leave it unlocked. There was the same creak to it that had been there the first time I had come to her room and I smiled knowing that I would have to bring oil the next time I came just as before. It was disturbing and comforting how some things were the same even now.

I ran into the woods and ended up in my meadow. I could remember bring Bella here and sharing with her all that I was. Laying with her on the grass and kissing her for the first time before returning to her home. That had been the first night I has spent with Bella where she knew I was there. Holding her and watching her as she sleep had been the best feeling of my overly long life. I could even now see Alice's smug face when I had walked back into the house.

"_Now can I be friends with her?" She had been hounding me ever since her vision but more so since I had resumed talking to Bella._

"_Can't you give it more time Alice" I had wined as I walked up to my room. "I don't want to overwhelm her or scare her away."_

"_Whatever Edward, I have seen it and she isn't going anywhere so I don't see why I have to wait." She didn't leave when I started taking off my shirt. "Besides I'm not the only one that wants to meet her you know. Esme is chomping at the bit to meet her also. Would you really deny your mother that has loved and cared and worried about you for longer than most the opportunity to meet the love of your existence?"_

"_Alice" I had known she was manipulating me and there had been nothing I could do._

"_You know she always worried that you would never find someone and now that you have you are just leaving her in the dark." She continued. "Not giving her a chance to welcome Bella is just cruel Edward and you are denying Bella the chance for a new sister. How could you?"_

"_What new sister?"_

"_Me of course" Alice has smiled up at me._

"_Now she isn't just your new best friend but your sister?"_

"_Yes" She continued. "And I don't know why we keep having this conversation when I can see that you are going to agree to bring her here later today."_

"_I was not."_

"_Maybe not right now but you would have caved before you left and agreed." She tapped her head. "I can see it Edward."_

_I had closed my eyes before nodding. "Alright Alice but if she says no then I won't bring her. I'll not have her feeling pressured to come just because you have no patience."_

_She had jumped up and down then and wrapped her tiny arms around my neck. "Thank you Edward I will let everyone know to be on their best behavior." She started to leave and then stopped and turned. "And no you don't have to worry about Jasper or Rosalie. I will make sure they will be fine."_

"_I didn't say anything."_

"_You didn't have to."_

Alice had known exactly what my concerns had been then without my saying a word. Why couldn't she be just as perceptive now? I needed her to get me out of this and I wasn't sure how to reach her. Part of me wanted to give up but a bigger part knew that I couldn't. I stood to leave giving this place one last look. I wouldn't come back until I could come back with Bella and it would happen. I didn't care what I had to do to Alice. I would find a way to get to her so that she could get me back. I had made a vow to the two most important women in my life and I wouldn't let them down. For all I knew both their lives were depending on it.

**AN: I suck is all I can say. It was not supposed to take this long to update but every time I started writing then I just couldn't come up with the right thing. I'm still not sure that I love the ending of this chapter but I think it works for the story and as an apology I am posting two chapters today. Thanks to those that are still with me and I look forward to hearing what you have to say.**

**Don't make me blue; please, please, please review :).**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I have more of an apology at the end of the chapter but I wanted to let you know that I really didn't mean for it to take so long between posts. Without further ado….**

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Four: Fate**_

The next month flew by in a whirl of anguish. I had always thought that leaving my family and Bella here was hard but this was worse.

First there was my family that was sinking further and further into the abyss. If their thoughts were any indication then the family was seriously about to fall apart. I figured I had about a week maybe two before Jasper left or Emmett really went and stole a child. Their plans were getting more firm by the minute and Alice couldn't see it because every time she started to have a vision she would try to push it away. Some still got through but she was getting better at managing their frequency. The ironic thing was that it seemed the more she tried to stop them the more she had. It was like they wouldn't go away. They pushed as hard as she did to be seen.

Second, I still had yet to see Carlisle; either one of them. Not the Carlisle one that I knew or the one that had shown up to me my first day here. This Carlisle however seemed never to be at home. Every time I was there he wasn't. I thought about going to the hospital to see him again but there was the chance of running into the other foul-mouthed Carlisle that didn't have any answers for me and I really didn't want to see him again or at least I didn't want to see him again unless he had some answers.

Finally, there was Bella. Watching her try to find a way to survive in Forks was hard. Every time she started to trip I wanted to catch her but couldn't, every time she got teary because of being here instead of with her mother I wanted to hold her and every time Riley made her laugh I wanted to grab her and kiss her and make sure he knew that she was mine. I was worried that if this kept up and I finally did get back to my own time I wasn't going to be able to leave as I had originally planned because of the jealousy that I felt every day in this place. This was worse than the jealously I had felt for Mike Newton in my own time. Of course he was also still trying to pursue my Bella but was having about as much luck as he had had before.

But more than anything I hated that Bella didn't miss me. Sure during the night when she tried to sleep she tossed until I sat on the bed with her but during her waking hours there were no thoughts of me or anything missing at all. I guess that on one hand I always thought that there was this connection between us even from that first moment. That even though I was clearly hostile toward her that first class she still missed me while I was gone but now I could see that wasn't the case. She carried on with her life as if I never existed which in this time I didn't. Which also led me to wonder, did she move through her days as if I never touched her life because I hadn't or was I not important enough for her to remember me?

It was beyond selfish but I wanted her to miss me. How ironic was it that I had been planning to leave and had thought that she would simply get over me and move on and one day I would be nothing more than I distance memory to her and now I couldn't handle the fact that she didn't remember me at all. It was like being shown your best dream and worst nightmare all in the same breath. She was moving on with her life and all I could do was watch and listen exactly as Alice had wanted.

If it wasn't for the fact that I needed her and it killed me to see her pain I would be furious with Alice. This was all her fault and although I thought that she was catching hell for this wish too I still thought I was getting the worst of it. I had tried everything I could think of to get her attention. Screaming, running into her, jumping up and down. I tried writing her a letter and sliding it under her door but the next day when she opened the door all I saw was a blank piece of paper laying on her floor. I even called from Bella's house glad that I could pick up a phone and dial but when Emmett answered he couldn't hear a word that I was saying. He finally hung up telling whoever was in the background that no one was there.

I hated to think it but I might be stuck here forever. I might have to watch my family go their separate ways and Bella marry someone else and raise a family and grow old before my eyes. There was every possibility that I would see her last breath and not be able to join her in whatever waits for me after this life but have to continue to wander the world knowing that she is gone and my family is destroyed. I wanted to help but right now I was out of ideas and the longer I stayed here the stronger my fear became.

I watched as my family pulled into the school parking lot. I had spent the night with Bella but I had left when she woke up. As much as I loved being with her it seemed wrong to watch as she was getting ready for the day. When I finally saw the splendor that was my Bella's body without clothing I wanted it to be a special moment between the two of us not my voyeuristic attempts to see the most beautiful body ever created. Therefore I always found myself at the school waiting for all of them to arrive.

Which was worse, repeating high school when you knew everything that was being taught but could still interact with your family and those around you or being stuck at high school watching your world disintegrate before your eyes and not being able to speak to anyone? Had to be the later because I could swear I was starting to go a little crazy.

I watched Rosalie and Emmett walk their separate ways not saying a word to each other. I could hear the pain that caused in Emmett's mind but Rose was so focused on trying to find a way out of this life that she didn't notice. Jasper had started to walk but turned when he saw that Alice wasn't clinging to him as per usual these days.

_She's not holding on to me_, he was watching Alice as she stared across the parking lot with a strange look in his eye. _Her emotions are all over the place. I should run. This is my chance but she doesn't look like herself. Did she see me leaving? Is that why she's giving me space?_ He took two steps toward the forest but stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought this would be the beginning of the end_. I at least need to see if she is okay. Maybe she would leave with me. We were happier before we found the Cullen's. Maybe we could be happy again._

He walked over to Alice and put his arm around her waist. It was the first real loving movement I had seen from him since coming here and it made me feel slightly better. Alice however didn't move when he touched her. She didn't turn to him and throw her arms around him or lean into his open embrace. She didn't acknowledge his concern in any way; she just kept her eyes on the parking space across the lot.

"Alice" Jasper's soft voice filled the air. There was a new concern there that gave me hope that they would be alright. "Alice, are you okay_?" She really seems so lost. God I hate when she hurts. Did I do this to her?_

I waited for Alice to respond but still nothing. I opened my mind to her thoughts wondering why she wasn't as focused on Jasper as she had been before. _Why is this familiar? It's like I know what is going to happen but I can't remember. It's not a vision but it's something and something isn't right about it. There's something missing. Damn it, what am I missing?_

I looked at the same spot that she was and wondered the same thing. There was nothing about it that looked familiar at all. Just the normal snowy day in Forks. I was more relieved that she had noticed something wasn't right or missing. Maybe she was beginning to sense me.

"Alice" I called standing in front of her. If this was my chance I would take it. "Alice can you hear me?"

Nothing, she looked straight through me. I turned and leaned against the car hoping against hope that just being close to her would make a difference. I saw Bella's truck pull in and wanted to go to her so bad but didn't want to leave Alice if there was a chance that she could finally see me.

I watched as Bella got out of her truck and then walked to the rear staring down at the tires_. I can't believe Charlie would do that._ She was thinking of her dad. _I wonder how early he had to get up to put these chains on my tires and he didn't say anything. I've never had someone take care of me like that before._

I had always wondered why she was staring at her tires when Tyler's van…_oh God no_. "Alice" I screamed. She was my best chance of saving Bella now. She had to have the vision. I couldn't stand here and watch her die; _not her_.

_Oh no_, I heard Alice exclaim. "Jazz you have to run" She turned to him. "Go home or hunting or something but you can't be here right now."

_Is she really sending me away? Could I really leave her now?_ "What is it Alice?" He did nothing to disguise the hurt in his voice.

"She's going to get hit and there's going to be blood." Alice motioned to Bella. "You can't be here when it happens."

She raced over to Bella moving faster than human but not too fast, definitely slower than I had. "Hi, you must be Bella." She was smiling down at her waiting to be seen.

_Wow, it's one of the beautiful people._ "Um….hi" Bella stammered.

"I'm Alice" She said softly obviously trying not to scare her.

"I know." Bella blushed as soon as she said it. _Now she is going to think that I have been gossiping about her._

"I'm sure you do" Alice laughed. "My family and I are kinda a legend around here or something." _Just keep talking to her. Maybe I was mistaken._

"That's gotta suck" _She doesn't seem as bad as Jessica said._

"Sometimes but most times I try not to pay attention." _She really seems to care._ Alice sounded shocked. "So how are you enjoying being the new girl?"

Bella grimaced. _Why does everything have to come back to my being new?_

"That bad huh?" Alice laughed again. It was great to hear the sound again. I hadn't heard her laugh since I got here. "I remember. All the guys hitting on you like fresh meat and all the girls wanting to be your friend so they can seem…"

"Popular?" Bella interrupted. _She really gets it. That is so cool._

"Yeah" Alice shook her head. "It's downright insulting." _She doesn't seem like the normal student._

"I know. I wish everyone would just get over it already." _I wonder._ "How long before everyone got over it when you were new?"

"I'm not sure they have yet but they don't bother us as much. We mainly keep to ourselves." _Maybe I was wrong. We've been standing here for a little while and nothing has…_

Before Alice could finish her thought the sound of Tyler's wheels spinning reached her. _What do I do? Do I stop the van or just lift her away? Lift her away. That would be the easiest to explain._ Once decided Alice screamed, "Look out" and grabbed Bella by the waist and moved her away from her truck just before the van spun into it. I released the breath I had been holding during their whole conversation.

"Are you okay?" _She looks really shook up._

"How did you do that?" _She's so small and she lifted me. She lifted me right off the ground and she felt so strong. Boy she must work out a lot._

"It was nothing." _Play it off Alice._ "I just saw the van coming before you could turn around."

"Thank you" Bella threw her arms around Alice's neck. _She saved me_. "You saved my life."

Alice opened her mouth to say something but was bombarded with visions. _Bella laughing at the house, Alice and Bella shopping, and Bella with pale skin and yellowed eyes. _ It was happening again and this time I couldn't stop it. I didn't even exist and still Alice was having visions of Bella as a vampire. If I thought I needed to get back before I knew it now.

People had heard the crash and were rushing out to see what had happened. I spotted Emmett and Rosalie just as I heard Bella screaming Alice's name.

"Are you two alright?" Tyler was asking. He had made it out of his van with only a minor cut but Alice was doubled over clutching her head_. I didn't even see them standing there. _

_Too much_, she screamed silently, _too much_. I could see more visions hitting her but they were coming too fast for me to discern what was what. I could see familiar faces and some of the places that we had lived before but I couldn't make out what each scene was. Everything ended at once with a familiar picture hanging on the wall in our Alaska house. My entire family plus Bella standing as we had in our first family picture that Esme had been clutching. The difference was that now Bella was in my spot and there was joy and smiles on everyone's face once again.

What the fuck is that suppose to mean? Was there no way to stop my love losing her soul and was I willing to sacrifice it so that I would never have to see her die and to have my family whole again? What the hell kind of fucked up reality did I get myself into or rather did Alice get me into.

"Alice?" Emmett was by her side. _What the hell happened? Where the hell is Jasper?_

"Home" Alice whispered to Emmett. "I need to go home. Get Carlisle."

Emmett didn't hesitate. He lifted Alice up into his arms and turned for the car_. Just hang in there Ali, Carlisle will fix you right up. Where the fuck is Jasper? If that son of a bitch left her like this I will hunt him down and rip him apart._ Rose already had the engine going but Emmett was stopped by Bella's hand on his arm. "Is she okay?"

He turned to her confused. _Did this human just touch me like it was no big deal? "_Who are you?"

"Be…Bella" She stumbled and I suppressed a growl at Emmett's tone. I knew that he didn't know her like before but she was just expressing concern for Alice. He could be a little nicer. "She saved me and I would hate for her to have been hurt because of me." _She has to be alright._

"I'm sure she will be fine." He kept moving. "We're just going to take her home so that our dad can look her over. He's a doctor."

"I heard" Bella mumbled not knowing that they would be able to hear her clearly. "Do you think it would be okay if I called later to check on her?"

_She really looks concerned_. Emmett was having a hard time understand.

"Bella? Bella?" Alice was calling to her_. Please let her be okay. She has to be okay._

"I'm right here Alice." Bella stepped closer_. Does she look paler?_ She touched her hand_. And she's freezing. Poor thing, maybe I could bring her some chicken noodle soup or something as a thank you._

"Bella you're okay right?" _She has to be okay._

"I'm fine Alice. You should worry about yourself." _How is she worried about me when she can't even stand?_

"I'm better now but I'm still going to go home." _I need to speak to everyone._ She closed her eyes searching for her vision for the first real time in almost a week. _Good Jasper did go back to the house._ "But tomorrow will you eat lunch with us?"

_Is she crazy? Did she hit her head or something?_ Emmett was shocked_. She can't eat lunch with us. We don't eat lunch and what about Jasper? Although that bastard did leave her like this. Like we all didn't know he was planning to run. Wait until I get my hands on him._

"Are you sure?" _Jessica would kill me for sitting with them. That or she would think it was great gossip._ "I don't want you to push yourself. If you're not feeling better you should stay home."

"Thanks but I'll be fine." Alice smiled. _We'll all be fine now._ "So lunch tomorrow and then you'll come over to study after school."

"Alice" I heard the same warning in Emmett's voice that would be in mine if she could hear me. What was she doing? Leave it to Alice to not worry about the consequences of inviting Bella into our world. All she saw was the happiness in that picture and not what Bella would have to give up for it to come true. Just like Alice.

"I would have to check with Charlie." Bella hedged. _Why is she being so nice to me?_

Alice closed her eyes again looking. "He will say yes so it's all set then." She turned to Emmett. "You can put me down now."

"Are you sure?" _Not just about putting you down but everything you're planning. _

"I'm sure" She smiled at him and it was her normal genuine smile.

He sat her down and backed away but stayed close just in case she needed him again. He was still scanning the crowd for Jasper and threatening him in his head thinking how even though he couldn't seem to make Rose happy he could never leave her especially hurt.

"So you will eat lunch with us and then come over after school. It will be perfect." Alice was looking to make sure that everything would turn out right and I had to admit that the house did look more alive in this vision than it had this whole time.

"Okay but I mean it Alice" Bella was looking at Alice with what she would think was a stern look but what was just barely a scowl. "If you don't feel better than don't push yourself. I would hate to see you take a turn for the worse." _Especially after you saved my life._

"Oh Bella" Alice acted on instinct and hugged her. "You are just the best."

_Wow she's so sturdy_. Bella was thinking. _No wonder she could lift me. She feels like she could lift a truck and yet it somehow feels familiar._ "No you are." Bella pulled back. "Now get home and get some rest and let your father look you over. Trust me; doctors are there for a reason." _Like stitching up people who fall twenty times a day or get mild concussions during gym._

"Okay but I will see you tomorrow." Alice smiled at her as she followed Emmett to the car. "Bye Bella." She waved behind her. _We are going to be sisters. Real, true sisters. I can't wait._

Oh dear God what was Alice going to do?

**AN: Okay I have every intention of having an update for you next week so please stay tuned. Hope you enjoyed these two chapters and I look forward as always to you thoughts and reviews.**

**Don't make me blue; please, please, please review :).**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I have really been awful at updating this story but hopefully the rest will come to me and I can bang it out and get back to a normal schedule soon.**

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

_**Chapter Five: Visions**_

As much as I wanted to stay with Bella to make sure that she didn't go into shock or anything I needed to know all that Alice saw. Yes, I was worried about Bella's health but I was more worried about her being pulled into my world without me there to protect her or to rein in my sister. Who knows what Alice would do without me there to keep her in check? If I hadn't been there before I truly believe Alice would have found a way to turn Bella after that first vision. Once Alice sees something that she wants she goes after it and she wanted her friendship with Bella just as much in this reality as she had in mine.

So I followed behind the car as fast as I could go. It was a good thing that I was the fastest in the family because Rosalie drove the craziest. She drove as if there were no other cars on the road in her haste to get them back home. I could hear Emmett on the phone with Carlisle explaining what had happened at school and telling him how he needed to come home right now. I had to admit that even though I wasn't excited about the circumstances that were bringing Carlisle to the house I was excited to see him. Everyone else had changed so much but I simply couldn't wrap my head around any reality were Carlisle wasn't the same caring, compassionate, and understanding individual that I had always known. Of course I had met his alter ego but still it didn't seem like it was Carlisle that I was speaking with then or now.

As the car rounded the last turn to the house I began to hear Jaspers thoughts. I was relieved to know that Alice had been right and he had come home like she had instructed. What I hadn't expected was to hear the concern that was laced through them. For the whole time since I had been here the only thing Jasper seemed to care about was getting as far away from Forks and Alice as possible. To hear the same worry that had been in his thoughts earlier magnified now made me believe that there was hope for them. That maybe Jasper had realized how much Alice meant to him and he would rethink the idea of leaving.

"Alice" _Please let her be alright._ Jasper yelled from the front porch as soon as he saw the car. He was beside it before Rosalie had even pulled to a stop.

"No you don't you selfish son of a bitch" Emmett jumped out pushing Jasper away from the door. "You run off and leave her lying in the middle of the fucking parking lot in pain and you think you can just act like everything is alright? I don't think so."

"Emmett" Esme had come out to see what was happening but no one was paying any attention to her. _Why don't they ever listen to me? Why can't they respect me?_

"You think we all didn't know that you were planning on leaving? That you think about it every day?" Emmett advanced on Jasper. "That you would have been gone years ago if Ali had given you the space you jack ass, but to do what you did today was worst than if you had already left."

"You think you're the only one that struggles with the bloodlust?" _Like I don't think about taking a bite out of at least one student a day. _"We all do but we deal with it. You really think that is a good enough reason to leave? To hurt someone you're_ suppose_ to love." _I could never to that to Rosie. I could never leave her. _ "Grow a pair and man up. You're wife needed you and you didn't care enough to stay. You didn't give a shit you little prick."

"Emmett" Jasper was trying to explain but Emmett wasn't having any of it and his mood was starting to rub off on Jasper. _Why is he so mad? What the hell business is it if his anyway._ "You really think that you have any room to give relationship advice. You think we don't all know your wife is planning to commit suicide as soon as she figures out how? Why don't you take care of your own shit before you jump into mine."

Emmett threw him into the trees outlining the driveway. I wanted to jump in and stop them but I couldn't. I had seen them wrestle before but never with the malice and anger that was pouring off of them now. They weren't brothers out having fun, they were strangers set on pulling each other apart. I wasn't sure either of them were going to come out of this without losing a leg or an arm.

I looked over at Rosalie but she was holding her chest and repeating _they all know_ over and over in her head. Alice wasn't much better. She had her hands massaging her temples as visions flooded through her again.

I was screaming for them to stop but no one was hearing me. Just as I was sure Emmett was going down I heard a scream that broke everyone apart.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" I looked over to see a seething Carlisle staring at everyone in the drive way. I knew that like all vampires he had a temper somewhere but in almost a hundred years I had never once heard him raise his voice. Not when I told him I was leaving to hunt humans, not when I returned ashamed and red-eyed, not when I yelled about him changing Rosalie, and not even when Emmett or Jasper made countless mistakes that resulted in a life lost. He had always remained calm and focused on keeping the family together and happy. I guess that wasn't the focus now.

"You call me home telling me that it's an emergency and walk in to this shit?" _I should have stayed at the hospital and let them deal with whatever this is on their own._ "I could have been helping people who actually want my help instead of over grown spoiled children who think they know everything just because they have lived longer than most humans. If all you need was a referee I am going back to the hospital."

_Why does he always leave? Why can't he love me the way that I love him? Doesn't he ever want to just be here for me?_ Esme's thoughts were so broken. I ran over to her intent on comforting the best I could but as I reached for her I knew there was nothing I could do.

"Carlisle wait" Alice called out. _He has to stay for this._ "I'm the one that needs you. Please, it's important." She called when he didn't stop walking.

He stopped and looked back at Alice and sighed. _Maybe she really does need help. It's not like she's ever turned to me before. Maybe this could be a turning point._ He turned back and started walking back toward the family. "Alright Ali, what do you need."

Alice smiled up at him. _Things are starting to change already._ "Can we go inside? Sit down and talk like a family?"

_A family, that is all I ever wanted but instead I got, _he trailed off_, maybe if I give her a chance things could change. Maybe I could change._ "Alright" Carlisle walked past her and up the stairs. He stopped in front of Esme and cleared his throat. _God, she is so beautiful and so sad. It's like no matter how I reach out for her I can't help. Why can't I make her happy? Why can't she love me like I love her?_ "How are you today?"

"Fine" She lied. _Just let him touch me. I miss his touch so much._

He held his hand out for her. "Shall we?" _Please don't let her reject me._

It was a small jester but I could see and hear the difference it was making to her. She quickly grabbed his hand and let him lead her into the house. I was relieved to know that Carlisle's thoughts about Esme weren't as bad as I had been afraid of. He still loved her and I knew that if they could just talk then things could work out.

Rosalie was next followed by Emmett who was still upset that he didn't get to finish his fight with Jasper. Alice started to walk but noticed that Jasper was still standing across the yard.

"Jazz?"

_She hasn't called me that in forever._

Alice walked over to him_. I hope he isn't still thinking of leaving. I don't see him going anywhere but decisions can change so fast._ "Jasper, are you coming?"

_She isn't dragging me in. She is actually asking._ "I'm sorry that I left you when you were hurt_." I'm sorry about so much more than that. I'm sorry I can't be the man that you want me to be._

She smiled up at him. "I asked you to, and besides none of that matters now." _He apologized? When was the last time he did that? _She flew into his arms. "Oh Jazz, things will be better now. Trust me."

_Can I? Can I really trust her? I trusted her when she brought me here and we have never been so miserable._ "Ali, baby, maybe things would be better if we just left. We were happier before we found them." He lifted his head to point out to the house. "Just you and me. I really think we can be happy again if it's just you and me."

"I think we could too, but I know we will be happier if we stay." Alice leaned back and kissed him quickly on the lips. "Just listen to what I have to say and if you still want to leave then we will leave."

"You would do that? You would leave with me?" _Maybe….Could she still love me? Could she still want me?_

"Jasper I would do anything for you." She smiled at him. "I love you, you are my mate and my husband and nothing has changed about that. Why do you think I've been holding on to you so hard? I would be nothing without you but I know that I can't force you anymore. Still, where you go I'll go; if you'll have me." There was a shyness to her eyes that I had never seen before and suddenly I felt like I was really intruding on a private moment and that made me smile because that was how I had always felt when I looked at them.

"Alice, of course I'll still have you. I'll always have you." _She still loves me._ He swooped down and lifted her up in the air kissing her as he did. It felt more wrong to spy on them like this but at the same time I couldn't look away. Jasper and Alice had always been what I thought a relationship should be like, what I wanted for Bella and myself, and to see them connected again was a beautiful thing.

"Come on" Alice backed away when he put her down on her feet_. Don't let him leave._ "For me?"

_She still loves me_ "Anything".

They walked into the house hand in hand and I sighed. Once couple down one and a half more to go.

Once everyone was in the dining room I took note of the differences. Sure Carlisle was beside Esme and Rosalie sat next to Emmett. Even Jasper had sat down close to Alice but no one was touching. It was like I could drive Bella's truck in between them and they wouldn't feel it even though they were right next to each other. The only ones that were even remotely close were Alice and Jasper and I knew that had more to do with their moment outside then any emotions coming out of this room.

"Alright Alice" Carlisle started. "You have us all here now would you mind telling us what is going on?"

"It's very simple." Alice smiled. "We are going to have a new member of the family and she is going to make everything better."

The collective gasp that when around the room was nothing compared to the growl that I released. This is what I was afraid of. Alice was going to change Bella and I wasn't going to be able to stop her. She was going to steal my loves life and her chance at normal and I would have to do nothing but watch. It was official. This was my hell.

"Alice you can't be serious?" Carlisle was looking at her as if she had lost her mind which made me feel slightly better. I had to have faith that no matter how bad the situation Carlisle would never condone the taking of a life. He had only brought us into his world because death was upon each of us and I knew there was no reality where he would have changed so much that he would not be troubled by the thought of innocent blood being spilt. He would be my saving grace.

"I have never been more serious in my life; either of them." Alice's smile didn't waiver. "Isabella Swan, Bella, will be a member of our family and she will make everything wonderful. She will be what has been missing all these years and she will make everyone so happy." She reached across the table and put her hand on top of Rosalie's. "Even you."

Rose snatched her hand away. "How can you say that?" She sneered. "How can you think that I would be happy at the thought of someone else losing their human life for this half life that we live? I tried that once and it didn't work. It never works." Her body shook with the tears that her eyes would never be able to shed.

"Way to go Ali" Emmett snarled as he reached for Rosalie but she moved away from him. _Why can't she see that I don't hate her for my life? That I wouldn't give this life up for anything as long as I had her, my angel._

"Sorry Em but she needs to hear this and it's better than you going off and stealing a baby from some orphanage." Alice lost her smile. "Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you were going to take two so Esme would have someone too and she wouldn't be all over Rose's baby."

"I want my wife to be happy is that so wrong?" Emmett was never one for backing down. "And I will do whatever it takes to make sure that she is which is more than I can say for either of them." He looked from Carlisle to Jasper.

"But you can't go around stealing babies" Carlisle dismissed his statement and continued on.

"Sure not babies that are born in a hospital and have parents that will always be there for them but babies in an orphanage have no one. They won't be missed and we would be giving them a family that will love them and care for them and give them anything that they could ever want or need." Emmett explained.

"And what happens when they grow up and eventually dies, Emmett?" Carlisle asked. "Esme has already been broken by the loss of one child and the rejection of four others. I won't let her live through the loss of another."

"Who says they have to die?" Again another gasp went through the room. "If we are going to live forever then they should be able to as well."

"Emmett you can't do that" Rosalie's small voice broke the silence. "You would just be denying them a normal life and a chance to have a family of their own." _I can't let someone else live like this because of me even if it would be so nice to hold a small baby of my own in my arms._

"But Rosie if it makes you happy." _Is there nothing I can do that will help her understand how much I love her? How happy I am to be with her? That will make her happy too?_

My dead heart broke for my huge brother with the heart of gold. All he wanted, all he had ever wanted, was for Rose to be happy. He was at his wits end with how and it hurt more to know that because of one stupid wish he was stuck here when he should be in my reality where he made Rose happy every minute of every day.

Rosalie choked back a sob. "It wouldn't Emmett. I'm sorry but I don't think there is anything that could ever make me happy."

"But there is or rather there is someone." Alice jumped back in. "Bella will make us all happy. I'm not sure how but I've seen it." She looked around the room. "I've seen Esme cooking for her and laughing in a way that I have never seen before and Bella and Emmett playing video games on the couch in the living room both with huge smiles on their faces and you Rose looking on with excitement and joy. Carlisle I have seen you home with us and caring for Bella every time she trips or falls which she is going to do a lot and Jasper I have seen you tutoring her and having long conversations with her without any bloodlust involved."

She took in their startled faces but kept going. "I have seen her with us both human and vampire and I have seen that this is her path."

_It can't be_. _What human would walk into a house full of vampires?_ "Both human and vampire?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes"

"But why would we change her?" _If she is comfortable with us as a human why would we take her life?_

"I don't know." Alice shook her head. "I can't see when she is changed but I know that it must happen before graduation because she doesn't look much different than she does now." She shrugged. "Maybe she is sick or maybe she gets attacked. Maybe she asks. Whatever the reason she will be one of us and we won't mourn her lost life but celebrate the completion of our family. She is the missing link. It's like she always has been."

"What do you mean?" Esme spoke up.

"I can't really explain it but it is just something I have always felt." Alice looked in my direction to the chair that I normally sat in. "It's like there should be someone else. Almost like it was never meant to be just the six of us. There has always been someone missing. Someone that helps in some way; someone important."

"Me" I screamed but she just shrugged her shoulders and seemed to have brought herself out of her trance.

"Whatever or whoever it was isn't important anymore because now we have Bella." Her smile was back and I felt a little angry that I was being left behind for the woman I love. That they could just move on from my memory so easily to destroy the beautiful soul of my Bella.

"Alice you know that this makes no sense." Jasper leaned toward her. "Humans shy away from us for obvious reasons."

"But she's different Jazz." Alice whined. "Emmett tell them how she didn't even seem to notice there was a difference between us after the accident and she didn't flinch or anything when she touched you or me."

"That is true." Emmett agreed. "She acted like it was no big deal. Like my skin felt normal."

"Alice even if what you are saying is true and I'm not sure that it is, you are still talking about taking away someone's humanity." Rosalie voiced my concerns. "Destroying her soul all so that we can be a real family; that seems very selfish." _And I can't take another soul in the hope that I will feel happy._

"Whether we do anything or not Bella will become a vampire." Alice crossed her arms. "Like I said this is her path."

"But is that because you are decided that this is her path or because it actually is?" Carlisle questioned. "Look Alice we all know that this family isn't what any of us hoped it would be and we all have problems that we need to work through but to endanger a human simply to create a familial bond" He shook his head "I have to agree with Rosalie. It seems really selfish."

"But Carlisle it isn't just for us." Alice argued back. "Bella needs this. I can see that she isn't happy here. Matter of fact she hates it here. We can change that. We can make her happy too."

"I don't know." _ I can't condone taking an innocent life no matter how great the sound of us being a real family is_. He looked to Esme_. Still Emmett is right about doing whatever you can to make sure your wife is happy and Esme was happy once. Could this girl really make her happy again? Could she make us all happy?_

"Carlisle please" Alice begged. "I told her that we would eat lunch together tomorrow and that she could come over after school. At least met her and talk to her before you decide. Trust me when I say that she needs us too."

_She looks so sure_, Carlisle was weakening and in the end it only took one more look at Esme to make his decision. "Alright Alice, one afternoon. After that we will talk again and figure out the best way to proceed with this situation."

Alice jumped up and rushed over to Carlisle embracing him in the world biggest hug. "Thank you dad." I could hear the surprise in his thoughts and everyone else's as she said it. "Trust me you are going to love her like your own daughter."

I was fucked because I knew she was right. Carlisle and Esme had taken to Bella like she was their own from the first moment that she walked through the door and I didn't have to be Alice to see that it would be the same this time too. They were going to love her alright and it was going to only cost her her life and her soul.

**AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know where I want this story to end but I have been having some writers block lately. Still I think I have the next couple of chapters in my head so hopefully I can have something put soon.**

**Don't make me blue; please, please, please review :).**


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